What a Subway Singer, a Buddhist Monk, and Sylvia Plath Taught Me about Poetry

Sylvia Plath in her early 20s

“The gift turned inward, unable to be given, becomes a heavy burden, even sometimes a kind of poison. It is as though the flow of life were backed up.” – May Sarton

Last night, I began reading The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath. It was strange and sad to read the intimate thoughts and feelings of an enormous poetic genius, knowing that eventually her mental illness would kill her. Plath wrote, “If I rest, if I think inward, I go mad.”

As I read, I began to sink into my own “inwardness” and think about my writing career. Slowly, depression and doubts crept in. I don’t possess even an eyelash of talent, I thought to myself. Who am I to think that I can even write, much less, make a living doing so? My writing is nothing more than unoriginal dribble.

And as I sank deeper into these negative thoughts, I saw unpaid bills, unwashed dishes, long, lonely hours of writing, and a lifetime of seeming obscurity, all swirling and forming a mountain of despair.

Encountering Negative Thoughts

You’re probably familiar with this kind of negative self-talk. As artists and poets, we’re susceptible to serious doubts about our creative talents and skills, and when we least expect it, the beast of inner criticism will rear its head and barrage us with negative statements, drowning out all hope and squashing our creative dreams beneath its clawed paw. “Will I ever be anything other than a mediocre talent who no one has ever heard of?” I wrote in my journal.

Self-effacement. Self-pity. Hopelessness. These are serious creative blocks for any artist. They keep us trapped in negativity and despair, and they have the potential to ruin not only artistic careers but also lives.

Living Bold: Creating Art through Passion

“Whatever you can do or dream, you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Have you ever heard of Alice Tan Ridley? Probably not. She’s the mother of Oscar-nominated actress Gaby Sidibe, who starred in the film, Precious. More significantly, Alice sings in the subways of New York city, making a living by collecting tips from commuting audiences. This morning, I saw a story about Alice on ABC News, and another thought struck me: If this woman can follow her passion and make an unconventional living off of tips from New Yorkers, then surely I can pursue my own dreams of writing and creating a life from poetry.

Inspired by Alice’s creative passion, her artistic boldness, and her committed pursuit of what she loves, I felt lighter. What I suddenly remembered was that poetry isn’t really about “talent.”

As artist Julia Cameron suggests, we all possess an innate creativity and certain measures of artistic talent. More often than not, it’s plain audacity–a kind of boldness and belief in one’s self–that separates artists who succeed from those who languish. Moreover, artistic craft can be taught and honed. If this weren’t the case, then there wouldn’t be so many MFA programs around the world. No, the creation of poetry doesn’t hinge on romantic and mythologized notions of “greatness” or “genius.” What’s more important is passion and, dare I say it, love.

I write poetry because I’m passionate about it, not because I aspire to have my writing taught in literature classes a hundred years from now. I write poetry because it fulfills me and gives me a sense of personal well-being and peace. It gives me a way to express my own innate creativity and to engage in the world, and it gives me an identity, a sense of self. Simply put, I write poetry because I love it. And that love for poetry inspires me to be bold and to believe in my own creativity and talent.

Embracing Optimism

This morning, as I formulated these thoughts in my journal, I remembered a quote by Buddhist monk and artist Matthieu Ricard:

An optimist is somebody who considers his problems temporary, controllable and linked to specific situations that can be changed. For an optimist, it makes no sense to lose hope. We can always do better, limit the damage, find an alternative solution, rebuild what has been destroyed, take the current situation as a starting point, direct our effort in the best apparent direction and enjoy inner peace instead of wasting time brooding over the past and worrying about the future. (Ode, 2010).

Ricard’s words remind me that hope is the well-spring of life and art. Through a concerted and creative effort to stay optimistic, one can find a solution to life’s problems. In my case, those unpaid bills are temporary, but my creativity, my passion, and my love of poetry build a foundation for a fulfilled and fruitful life.

“My happiness streams from having wrenched a piece out of my life, a piece of hurt and beauty, and transformed it into typewritten words.”—Sylvia Plath

Plath’s literary greatness and her poetic genius streamed from her passion for making meaning of her life through poetry. Like Plath, my happiness emerges from wrenching out experiences from my own life and transforming them into words on a page. For right now, in this moment, which is the only moment I truly possess, my love and passion for poetry are enough for me. I’m happy.

Do you struggle with inner criticism? How do you deal with that struggle? How do you find happiness in your creative pursuits?