Ego-Aerobics for Poets: How to Flex Your Creative Self-Esteem

Flickr photo courtesy of Michael "Mike" L. Baird, flickr.bairdphotos.com

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection–Buddha

Because art is usually seen as superfluous in culture, artists often fail to receive the kind of encouragement, support, and creative sustenance that is needed to create.

Poets, especially, face a culture that rarely sees poetry as deeply and profoundly significant. As a result of this cultural neglect, poets and other artists must work, and oftentimes struggle, to build the creative self-esteem that is necessary to create great art.

If you’re like me, then you have trouble feeling confident about your artistic pursuits. I’ve struggled for years with feelings of self-doubt and self-effacement when it comes to writing poetry.

But here’s the good news: there are concrete ways to nurture your creative self-esteem and to build a positive sense of your artistic self, and they begin by recognizing, combating, and transforming your inner critic.

Recognizing Your Inner Critic

Other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality–Les Brown

Many of us have internalized the critical voices of those who don’t support our artistic pursuits. Often enough, our “well-meaning” families, friends, and partners view our artistic work as a “hobby” or as an otherwise unimportant pastime. And even when we have personal support, those amorphous cultural attitudes that denigrate art and creative pursuits can become stuck in our heads. Those outside voices easily become an internal voice—an inner critic who judges and censors our creative impulses and what may result from them.

For the poet, an inner critic is a wholly negative voice.

It tells you that you can’t write or that your poetry sucks. It tells you that there’s no real value in writing poetry or in creating art. And if it allows for poetry to have some cultural value, it tells you that what you write is not “real” poetry.

In other words, the inner critic is not simply unhelpful; it’s damaging and oppressive, and its one aim is to batter your creative self-esteem.

The role of the inner critic is primarily to censor and to judge—to discern and determine the value of the creative process and what results from it. Some poets are also critics, writing reviews and essays about the poetry or artwork of others. However, as age-old wisdom tells us, you are your own worst critic.

You cannot simultaneously create and judge your own poetry and artistic work.

In order to create poetry, we must be open to a full-range of creative possibilities and artistic choices. The critic’s job is to limit those choices, often times censoring those creative impulses that are absolutely necessary to write great poetry.

Combating Your Inner Critic

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes–Sally Field

Do you sometimes feel that you’re wasting your time and your energy by writing poetry or pursuing some other creative effort? Do you lapse into negative thinking when it comes to your poetry? Do you sometimes tell yourself that you’re no good as a writer, that you can’t write poetry, or that the poetry you write is terrible? If so, then you’re hearing the oppressive voice of your inner critic.

It’s important to confront the voice of your inner critic and to transform it into a positive and nurturing voice instead. By doing so, you’ll feel better about yourself and your writing. Also, you’ll create a context in which to grow and stretch as a writer. Finally, you’ll gain the self-confidence and deep belief in yourself that are required to write great poetry. And it’s all as simple as listening to your inner coach.

Embracing Your Inner Coach

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself–Harvey Fierstein

A good coach is supportive, nurturing, smart, and intuitive. A good coach challenges us and pushes us to be our best. A good coach never puts us down, never tells us that we can’t succeed, and never lets us give up.

Just as all artists possess an inner critic, we also possess an inner coach.

Your inner coach is that voice that tells you that you’ve done a good job and now you can do it even better. Your inner coach understands that writing poetry is a process, that art takes time, and that failure is an inherent and crucial part of artistic success. Your inner coach nurtures you, admires you for your artistic pluck and for taking risks, and urges you on in positive ways when things get tough or you start to feel discouraged.

You might recognize your inner coach, especially when you’re deeply engaged in the writing process. “No, that word goes here,” your coach might tell you. Or “break the line this way,” it might say. “That’s it! Perfect!” It exclaims. Your inner coach is helpful. It always wants to make you a better artist.

If you don’t often hear your inner coach, it’s probably because your inner critic is so damn loud. If that’s the case, then the solution is to flex your inner-coach muscles by engaging in exercises that affirm you as an artist and that nurture your creativity.

Working Out with Your Inner Coach

The greatest success is successful self-acceptance–Ben Sweet

Like I said, I have lots of experience with dealing with my inner critic, and over the years, I’ve worked to transform that voice into a positive one.

What I’ve come to learn is that nurturing, coaxing, and encouraging my inner artist are absolutely necessary to writing poetry and that transforming negative criticism into positive, creative self-esteem is not only possible, but a lot easier than you might think.

Think of your self-esteem as a muscle—one that atrophies without use. As with any muscle, building positive self-esteem is a process that takes time and effort.

Try flexing your creative self-esteem by engaging in these exercises that have worked for me:

Affirm yourself and your creativity: Below are several affirmations. Write them down and read them aloud. Reflect on them for 10-15 minutes by writing about the thoughts and feelings they provoke. What is your inner critic saying to you about these affirmations? Do you find that you’re resisting them or arguing against them? What is your inner coach saying about these affirmations? Do they resonate as true for you? How does it make you feel to hear yourself say these affirmations?

My creativity is an innate and perfect part of me.

I am a brilliant artist.

My art has the potential to transform the minds and lives of others.

My creative process will never fail me.

I am not my poetry. My poetry is an expression of my creativity, not a reflection of my worth as a person or as an artist.

Dream of possibilities: What are your artistic dreams? What do you dream of creating or pursuing artistically? If you could live any creative life you wanted to live, without any limitations, what would that life be? Let yourself dream, and reflect on these questions by writing about them for 10-15 minutes.

Let yourself play: Let your inner artist play by engaging in a creative activity. This creative activity might be free-writing for 10-15 minutes, but you might also bake some cookies, sketch, color, make music, or knit. If you need some suggestions for creative activities, then check out this article. Think of positive ways to express your creativity, and let it come out and play.

Let yourself achieve: Write about your achievements as an artist and as a person. These achievements might be anything. For instance, if you’re working a full-time job and/or running a household and a family, then squeezing in time to complete even one of these exercises is an enormous achievement. Once you’ve written for 10-15 minutes, then say to yourself, “Good job.” And pat yourself on the back for everything you’ve achieved in your life and in your craft.

If you find yourself resisting these exercises, then you might ask: Is this my inner critic talking to me again? Your inner critic doesn’t want you to affirm yourself as an artist; it doesn’t want you to dream; it doesn’t want you to play; and it certainly doesn’t want you to achieve.

So, if you’re having trouble with these exercises, then try listening to your inner coach. That voice will tell you to give it a try; it will tell you that dreaming and playing are good for you and that achievement is not simply possible, but probable; and it wants you to affirm yourself as an artist and to affirm your creative work as important.

Letting Your Inner Coach Speak

Every individual has a place to fill in the world, and is important, in some respect, whether he chooses to be so or not–Nathaniel Hawthorne

Transforming your inner critic into an inner coach requires a bit of diligence. Every time, your inner critic speaks, then let your inner coach talk back.

For instance, one great way to figure out if your inner critic is talking to you is to consider whether or not you would repeat the statement to someone you love and care about. Would you tell your child that they can’t color and their artwork totally sucks? Would you belittle the creative efforts of your loved one and tell them that they’ll never cut it in the “real” art world? Probably not.

So, when that inner critic rears its ugly head, then let your inner coach swoop in and defeat the beast.

Tell yourself that you’re a brilliant poet, your poetry is meaningful and potentially life-changing, and your creativity is part of a larger, universal impulse to create.

By consistently and diligently telling yourself the deep, positive truths about your creative efforts and about yourself as a poet, you’ll learn to stop being your own worst critic and to become your own best coach.

Flickr photo courtesy of Michael “Mike” L. Baird, flickr.bairdphotos.com