The Anxious Artist: Transform Your Anxiety into Creativity
Anxiety can be debilitating and immobilizing, especially for artists. When anxiety strikes it can disconnect us from our desires and passions, which fuel our creativity. Without that fuel, our creative impulses can become chaotic and overwhelming, or worse they can shrivel up and die.
Look into the center by Mara ~earth light~
I know a lot about anxiety. After decades of medical misdiagnosis, I was finally diagnosed, a little over a year ago, with bipolar disorder. Anxiety is a primary symptom of my mental illness.
And I’m not talking about a little stress here. No, I suffer from the kind of anxiety that is often extremely debilitating and immobilizing and that keeps me spiraling in nervousness, fear, despair, and even shame.
For me, the worst part of anxiety is how it can keep me from writing and from experiencing and utilizing my creativity.
However, because I’ve struggled with anxiety throughout my writing career, I’ve slowly learned ways to combat its debilitating symptoms and to transform it from a personal liability into a creative asset.
What is Anxiety?
Everyone struggles with anxiety from time to time. When we need or want to do something that makes us nervous, scares us, or is particularly challenging, anxiety is a natural reaction. For instance, if you’re shy, then reading your poetry in public may cause you anxiety. Or if you’re pressed for time on a publication deadline, then anxiety is a natural response.
What characterizes anxiety as a disorder, as opposed to a natural reaction to stress, is its persistence, its intensity, and the way it may be disproportionate to the task at hand. For instance, everyday activities associated with my life and my work can cause me anxiety—going to the grocery store, keeping an appointment, or having to do a spoken word gig I’ve committed to.
Coping with anxiety is especially difficult because it’s actually a very complex emotion. Anxiety is a combination of sadness, fear, and anger.
But in the simplest sense, anxiety is energy—excessive energy, but energy nonetheless.
Transforming Anxiety into Creativity
Because anxiety is energy, the key to transforming it into creativity is to learn to harness it. Yet, how do we rein in our anxiety so we might write or create art?
Here are some suggestions that help me transform anxious energy into creativity:
- Take care of your basic needs. First, it’s important to simply take care of your basic physical and emotional needs. This suggestion may seem obvious, but when in the throes of anxiety, I often forget that I haven’t eaten for the day or that I’m actually running on very little sleep. And it’s important to focus on doing simple activities, like taking a shower, taking a walk, or relaxing.
- Engage in creative procrastination. If you’ve taken care of your basic needs and you still don’t feel ready to engage your artistic work, then I suggest creative procrastination. In my opinion, procrastination has a bad rap. But I believe that it’s really a significant way to ease the pressure we may feel and to prime the creative pump. Everyone has their favorite ways to procrastinate, but what I suggest is to do something that is likely to stimulate your creative brain, like going to the library and reading some great literature or going to the museum and looking at great art. Often, once I’ve engaged in some creative procrastination, then my anxiety is more manageable and I feel ready and inspired to write.
- Free write. Free writing lets you transfer all your anxious thoughts from your brain to the page. When done in a specific manner, it becomes a way to dump your worries and park them elsewhere. The best way to free write is to set a timer for 5-10 minutes. Start writing and keep writing without lifting your pen or hand from the page. Don’t pause; rather, keep writing whatever thoughts come to you. Don’t edit by crossing out words; don’t worry about grammar or misspellings. Simply keep writing until the time is up. The key to free writing is to not judge what you write. In fact, you should expect inane, boring, trite, and otherwise terrible writing. Also, try to avoid writing out negative thoughts about yourself. If you start writing negative thoughts, then simply stop and park that thought elsewhere. It’s not simply unhelpful to put yourself down when you’re anxious; it’s actually more damaging. So, if you’re really struggling with negative thoughts then I suggest that you stop free writing and go back to my first suggestion to take care of yourself and your basic needs. But if you can avoid negative thoughts, then free writing is a great way to alleviate anxiety and to get those creative ideas flowing.
- Engage in creative play. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, then you know I value “play” as an artistic practice. The key to artistic play is to focus on creative activities or ones that nurture your creative spirit. For instance, in my mind, zoning out in front of the TV, your computer, or a video game isn’t really playing. In my opinion and my experience, these are ways to disengage from life and from yourself, which is a perfectly fine choice if that’s what you need. But there are so many ways to engage in creative play. If you really love watching movies, for instance, then get out of the house and go to a movie theatre. Creative play can alleviate the anxiety we feel about engaging in some “serious” way with our art and opens us to imaginative playfulness.
- Open yourself to creative possibility. When you’re anxious, being positive and believing in creative possibilities are difficult, but doable. Try writing out your artistic dreams. If you could live any artistic life you wanted, then what would that life look like? Or write out your “perfect” day. If there were no limits on what kind of day you could have, then what activities would you engage in? The key to this suggestion is to focus on what you can do creatively rather than on what you can’t do.
- Get spiritual. If you’re a spiritual person, then it’s natural to turn to your spirituality in times of need. One thing I do when I’m really anxious is to write out my prayers. This allows me to use my creative skills in a spiritual way. Also, I use a Zen writing practice that I’ve developed for myself in order to simultaneously ease my emotional pain and nurture my creativity. Whatever your spirituality may be, then think of creative ways to engage it. By doing so, your anxiety may lessen enough to let your creativity expand.
- Nurture your creative self-esteem. By this suggestion, I mean nurture some faith in yourself, in the creative process, and in your own talent, skills, and experiences. When I get anxious, I often forget that I’m a capable and successful artist. So remember who you are as an artist by writing out your accomplishments or focus on what you do best. Having some faith in yourself and flexing your creative self-esteem can alleviate anxiety and open up the possibility for creativity.
These are simply a few suggestions for creatively harnessing and reining in your anxiety. If you struggle with anxiety on a regular basis, then I’m sure you can think of even more activities.
It’s possible to transform your anxiety from a personal liability into a creative asset. It just requires a bit of diligence and a lot of faith—faith in yourself, your skills, your creativity and your experience as an artist.
How do you transform your anxiety into creativity?
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Flickr photo courtesy of Mara ~earth light~
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You’ve covered an important topic, Ami, and offered practical suggestions that anyone could use. Excellent post.
Maureen´s last [type] ..Monday Muse: Texas’ Poet Laureate
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Ami Mattison Reply:
June 21st, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Thank you, Maureen! As always, I appreciate your support and encouragement!
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Wonderful blog, Ami! Thanks for sharing.
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Ami Mattison Reply:
June 21st, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Thank you, Erin! I appreciate that you took the time to read and comment.
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Ami, this is a post to bookmark and return to often. Your thoughts here remind me very much of the theory of Kazimierz Dabrowski, who posited that what we think of neurosis is actually a prerequisite for a certain kind of personal growth:
“According to our theory accelerated psychic development is actually impossible without transition through processes of nervousness and psychoneuroses, without external and internal conflicts, without maladjustment to actual conditions in order to achieve adjustment to a higher level of values (to what ‘ought to be’), and without conflicts with lower level realities as a result of spontaneous or deliberate choice to strengthen the bond with reality of higher level.”
Lisa´s last [type] ..Blogging as a 21st Century Hobby
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Ami Mattison Reply:
June 21st, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Thanks so much, Lisa. I’m not familiar with Dabrowski’s work, but I am familiar with other psychoanalytic theories about sublimation in which neurosis is channeled into creating art. I was thinking of sublimation the entire time I wrote this piece, but I decided not to get into psychoanalytic theory. Thanks for insight!
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Excellent tips here Ami. I especially like the idea of creative procrastination – which I don’t think is procrastination at all – it’s work, disguised as play. Your right brain requires its own sacred rituals, processes, and routine to engage and produce, and what you’re calling creative procrastination describes great ways to help your right brain emerge. Great post.
Ami´s last [type] ..How to Say No – and Succeed – in a Yes Culture
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Ami Mattison Reply:
June 21st, 2010 at 7:06 pm
Thanks, Ami! I’ve never thought about how the right brain needs “rituals, processes, and routine” before. But it makes perfect sense. I’ll have to think about the idea of creative “rituals” in particular. Thanks for the insight!
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A very useful post. I’m recovering from panic disorder & still have anxiety attacks fairly frequently — it’s good to have some reminders of creative ways to deal with it.
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Ami Mattison Reply:
June 21st, 2010 at 7:08 pm
Thanks, PoetChick! I’m so glad you found this post useful! For me, the best way to deal with anxiety is to do something creative, which is not always easy, but definitely worth the effort.
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This was a great post! I have spent most of my life dealing with fear in various forms. I have always set up scary things to do so that I would have to break through a particular fear—- I went to Toastmasters to begin to overcome my fear of public speaking, set up poetry readings so I would have to face those fears. Yikes! Recently, I agreed to paint A LOT of big oil paintings between now and October (they actually need to be done and drying by the end of August!!) By deciding to set up a really scary task for myself, I had to learn to treat my studio and my time there as sacred, something that is hard because I am in an art center that is open to the public with the agreement that I have to have my door open many hours each week. The hardest part has been for me to feel the anxiety about producing the paintings and going into the studio everyday, no matter how I feel, putting a canvas up and attacking it. I have had to give up a lot of my perfectionism and just paint. I have also had to tell my friends, who love to visit and hang out, that they had only a few minutes and then I had to get back to work. I still have a long way to go, but I am doing it and facing the fear everyday. There are two big canvases that would usually take up to 6 months to complete. Well, gotta do something different now!
Of course, the biggest thing is telling myself that no matter what I put up, I have worked hard (and I really am enjoying the process) and it is GOOD ENOUGH! That is a hard one to get.
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Ami Mattison Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 4:49 am
Wow, Jean! It sounds like you’ve found some fantastic ways to transform your fears and anxiety into creative activities. I’m especially impressed by how you’ve taken on the challenge of painting many canvases and how that’s led to treating your art, your time, and your creative space as sacred. Way to go!
Also, your experience points out how we must be diligent to our craft, even when we don’t really feel like it–and you’re right, that’s a BIG challenge.
Finally, you highlight a really significant point about not letting the anxiety of perfectionism get in the way of creating art. By being diligent to our craft and by boosting our creative self-esteem, we can begin to see our art as not only “good enough” but brilliant!
Thank you so much for sharing! And good luck with those paintings!
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What a candid post! You’ve gone to the heart of a difficult matter and given your heart. I salute you. –Mary
Mary L. Tabor´s last [type] ..What’s it all about, Alfie?
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Ami Mattison Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 7:59 pm
Thanks, Mary! I appreciate the compliment and your support!
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Again, another excellent post, Ami! I especially like your equating anxiety with energy. That brings a different but needed perspective. If we view anxiety as energy then it is something we can channel–which removes us from a victim role to a powerful creative role.
I cannot tell you how much I enjoy reading your posts!
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Ami Mattison Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 5:31 am
Thanks, Darryl, for highlighting the distinction between being a “victim” to our anxiety and taking on “a powerful creative role.” Now that I look at it in these terms, I see that this distinction is an overarching theme for the piece, but I’ll admit it was more unconscious than conscious. So, I appreciate that you were able to tease out that distinction between victimization and empowerment through creativity. Thank you for the insight, and thanks for your support. I really appreciate your generous encouragement.
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Hi, I just had to write and say how much this resonates with me. I’m very introverted and anxious but have a very strong shield I put up. I read Jean’s comment and, being a painter who spends ages on each painting and hates the trauma of exhibiting, I’m fascinated by the way she approached tackling the big pictures. Jean, I’d LOVE to hear more about it.
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Ami Mattison Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Hey, Lily! I’m so glad this article resonated with you. Jean’s story is fascinating, and hopefully she’ll tell us how her painting is going. Thanks for dropping by and sharing.
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Hello, I transformed my anxiety into creativity through my website, Brand Killer Robots. At first i didn’t realise what i was doing but now i stand back and look and understand that i was able to make the best use out of my mental state at the time. Well maybe not the best use, but some use at least. lol
Love & Light
Stephen
Stephen´s last [type] ..The Electronic Self Exposed after 4 years in Hell
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Ami Mattison Reply:
January 2nd, 2011 at 8:38 am
I know what you mean, Stephen. I too use my blog and other creative projects as a way to transform my anxiety into creativity. A blog in particular is a great tool for those of us who deal with anxiety. It doesn’t just give us something creative to do, but it gives us purpose and a certain kind of routine that certainly helps. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Love and light to you as well!
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Thank you! You’ve offered some wonderful tips to those of us who are struggling – I have been diagnosed w/ bipolar disorder and ,more recently, w/ generalized anxiety disorder I could certainly relate -I look forward to reading more of your articles
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