‘Powerful Beyond Measure’: Fear vs. Creative Success
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” Marianne Williamson
Are you afraid of creative success? Do you dream of success in your creative career, but find yourself afraid to take even small risks to achieve your dreams?
There was a time when I thought I feared, not success, but failure in my creative pursuits. However, with increasing successes in my creative life, I’ve come to experience increasing discomfort with and even embarrassment about my creative accomplishments.
For instance, a blogger friend wants to write a series of blog articles that feature an interview with me. Since August, I’ve been sitting on the questions she so thoughtfully worked on. Each time I’ve tried to answer her questions, I’ve become uneasy and self-conscious. Ultimately, I don’t want to write about my creative career and achievements. Having a spotlight focused on my creative accomplishments is uncomfortable for me. Ultimately, it’s easier to hide in obscurity.
Fear of Failure vs. Fear of Success
Fear is faith that it won’t work out. Sister Mary Tricky
Fear of creative failure and fear of creative success look a lot alike. Because they’re fears, both tend to be unconscious.
And they’re often linked in our minds. If we don’t try, failure isn’t possible. Neither is success. Instead, we maintain the more comfortable status quo of underachievement.
Finally, both fears have similar symptoms, such as negativity, defeatism, and self-sabotage. Both keep you from making an effort and from realizing your creative dreams.
Some Symptoms
What we seek we shall find; what we flee from flees from us. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Here are some common symptoms of fear of creative success:
- Are you embarrassed, perhaps even ashamed, by your creative accomplishments?
- Are you reluctant to share your creative achievements with others?
- Do you feel guilty about your creative accomplishments, even small ones?
- Do you avoid, procrastinate around, or sabotage important creative projects?
If you’re answering “yes” to one or more of these questions, then you’re probably struggling with a fear of creative success.
Some Causes
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear. Mark Twain
Fear of creative success can have many, sometimes convoluted causes. But some common ones are:
- Fear that with increasing creative success comes a bigger risk of failure, as we believe that the higher we climb the further we’ll fall.
- Fear of negative criticism and of greater expectations from others.
- Fear that our friends or family may grow jealous and spiteful of our success and possibly even abandon us.
- Fear that we may have to compromise our creative integrity or that we may lose our freedom of expression or our independence as artists.
In other words, we fear and focus on what we believe will be the negative consequences of creative success, rather than embracing what will surely be the positive results of creative achievement.
Taking Creative Action
Always do what you are afraid to do. Ralph Waldo Emerson
While I don’t have this dilemma all figured out, I’ve had some success in overcoming my fears by trying out these concrete strategies:
Answer some questions.
Ask yourself: What do I really fear and why? What’s the worst that can happen if I achieve creative success? What is likely to happen if I achieve creatively, or what are more realistic outcomes of my creative successes? Am I sabotaging my own creative success? If so, how? And how can I stop this self-sabotage? Set aside 10-15 mins. and reflect on these questions by writing out your answers.
Dream of positive rewards and outcomes of creative success.
Reflect on and write out your dreams of creative success. And when I say, “dream,” I mean dream big and then dream bigger. If there were no limits on how successful you could be in your creative career, what would your success look like? Be sure to set aside what others might define as creative success, and dream your own dreams. While you’re dreaming, check your inner critic or any negative thinking that may arise. Focus on what’s likely to happen if you succeed, not on what you fear will happen. In other words, think positively.
Do something you fear.
Positive thinking is a great solution to many internal problems, but it has to be nurtured and put into practice to actually work. In other words, not only do we have to internalize and actually believe in our positive thoughts, we also have to act upon those positive thoughts. So, begin by conceptualizing a creative project that scares you—one that scares you a little, but not a lot. And set your mind to accomplishing it.
So, for instance, let’s say publishing your poetry scares you. Do some research and reading and determine a magazine, journal, anthology, or online site where your poetry is likely to be accepted. This particular detail is key because if you try to publish where you absolutely know your poetry won’t be accepted, then that’s simply more self-sabotage. As another example, let’s say you’re afraid to read or perform your poetry. Do some scouting and find a small, friendly open mic. Sign-up and read a short poem. After you’ve faced your fears by taking some creative action, then call upon your inner coach by taking a moment to tell yourself “good job” and to pat yourself on the back.
Internalize success.
Once you’ve faced your fear in a small way, try to internalize the success that comes with simply confronting one’s fears. For right now, actually getting that poem published or receiving rave reviews from an audience is not the point. The point is to recognize that you faced a fear and that you successfully achieved your goal (i.e. mailing that poem or reading to an audience).
In order to internalize your success, write out what you’ve done and write out your feelings about your achievement. How did it feel to face your fear through creative action? What were your fears before completing your creative project? What were the actual results of your creative pursuit? While answering these questions, again be sure to check your inner critic and negative thoughts and focus on the positive feelings that come with success.
Share your creative success.
Once you’ve done something a little bit scary, be sure to share your creative success with a supportive friend or family member. Tell your best friend that you finally sent off that poem for publication. Or maybe call your mother and tell her that you read your poem to an audience. By sharing your creative success with others and by giving them an opportunity to show love and support, you’re giving yourself the positive gifts and rewards that come with creative success.
Fear vs. Faith
You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. Mary Manin Morrissey
In the end, facing our fears and overcoming them really comes down to nurturing a little faith. Faith that we are meant to succeed in our creativity, not hide in the shadows of artistic obscurity. Faith that supportive and loving friends and family will revel in our successes. And faith that with success comes positive and fulfilling rewards.
So, take a small risk and have a little faith. I’m sure you’ll find that the rewards outweigh the initial discomfort, and you may just find that what you feared was exactly what you desired and needed the most in your creative life.
The Freedom of Creative Success
Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom. Marilyn Ferguson
Confronting and trying to overcome my fears of creative success are inevitably followed by a feeling of empowerment and freedom.
Fear is an emotional shackle, and by taking off those chains, then you’ll walk with greater ease, one step at a time, towards creative achievement.
If you confront your fears, there’s really no telling just how successful you may be.
More significantly, it feels great to achieve creatively. It really does. And by pushing aside negative thoughts, having some faith, and letting yourself feel the joy of creative success, then rather than a source of discomfort or embarrassment, creative success can become a source of personal empowerment, pride, and pleasure.
As for me, I have a bunch of interview questions waiting in the wings of my creative life. And I can’t wait to answer them.
Do you fear creative success? How do you overcome your fears?
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Flickr photo courtesy of Anirudh Koul
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You written about this issue so well, Ami. It’s a great post.
Maureen´s last [type] ..From the Bridge Poem
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 10th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Thank you, Maureen! It makes me happy that you enjoyed the post.
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This is very insightful. I almost felt like I was in a counseling session with a master counselor. Great stuff!
Cassandra Frear´s last [type] ..Should You Change Your Blog
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 10th, 2010 at 1:14 pm
What a nice compliment, Cassandra! Thank you! I’m so glad that you found the article insightful.
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I think with some people it’s more the issue of whether they deserve to be thought of as successful. If only people knew that bit more about us then they’d find more to be disappointed about in what we’ve done with our lives than what we have managed to achieve somehow, probably by fluke. The fact of the matter is that there will always be someone out there who has done more with their lives than we have. That doesn’t make us a failure. Everything is relative, even success. There was a time when completing my first novel was a huge mountain to be climbed. I succeeded, eventually published it and most people who have read it have enjoyed it; it brought one woman to tears. Now I’m struggling with my fifth book and feeling like a failure because I’m having such a hard time with it, that I’m kidding myself – I’m not a real writer – but, of course, I am. I listen to writers talking all the time, “Oh, I had such a hard time with this one,” but all I get to hear are those ten words; they don’t really covey what that author has gone through. Who is to say that their “hard time” has not been far, far worse than the hard time I’m having?
Jim Murdoch´s last [type] ..The Sorrows of Young Werther
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 10th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
Jim, I feel you on this. I’ve had thoughts that I don’t deserve success, and despite knowing how absurd that thought is, I still feel it sometimes. Also, I know how hard it is to be struggling with one’s writing and how that frustration can so easily turn into defeatism and thoughts of failure. I think most writers are susceptible to the fear that we are not “real” writers. Finally, I think it would be helpful if more writers revealed just how excruciating and angst-ridden the creative process can be at times. I think the kind of polite silence that exists around this matter creates the idea that one magically just surmounts the hurdles. Certainly, that’s not the case. Hmm…I may have another blog article in mind now.
Anyway, I’m sending lots of good vibes your way for the completion of your novel. You finished that first one. I have faith that you will certainly finish this fifth one too! Good luck!
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Great post and questions Ami. When I pondered the question “What am I afraid of?” I surprise myself with the answer – I’m afraid that if I’m successful, I’ll be disappointed with what success looks/feels like, that success in my creative endeavors will not satisfy me as much as success in my old (stressful, meaningless) career. Which seems crazy. I think I need some time for thought and reflection!
Ami´s last [type] ..The search for linchpins – start a collection
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 10th, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Isn’t it odd, Ami, how our minds work sometimes? I can totally understand your fears. Sometimes, I think that future “success” will look a lot like my present life. Which, don’t get me wrong, totally rocks. But I guess I expect “success” to be more somehow–more glamorous, more secure financially, more fulfilling…just more. And I too look back on my past career in academia (which I became totally burnt out on) and think that I’ll never be as successful with my writing as I was with my teaching and research. Why I’d believe that, I have no idea, since my previous career ran me right into the ground creatively.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your experience. It makes me happy that you enjoyed the post!
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Thanks for this great topic, Ami. It’s easy to see why fear of success is intertwined with fear of failure. Look at what happened to Michael Jackson: he created “Thriller,” the best-selling album ever, yet within several years he became a national joke. Peter O’Toole: he starred in many stellar motion pictures, including the Academy Award winning “Lawrence of Arabia,” yet he never won a competitive oscar. Elizabeth Gilbert: she wrote the runaway bestseller “Eat, Pray, Love,” which has won her the honor of being skewered by naysayers and pitied by people who wonder where she can go from there. Martin Luther King: shot. President John F. Kennedy: shot. Mahatma Gandhi: shot. Becoming the best version of yourself can be scary; it can make you a target.
On the other hand, as the Shakespearean saying goes, “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.” I do fear success, but here’s a quote from my memoir: “Oh, I’m afraid of everything. But I just ask myself, ‘What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?’ Then I do that.” My memoir may sell big or languish, it may attract both positive and negative attention. But I had something to say, and if I didn’t say it, I would be guilty of hiding my light. For a creative person, that’s just plain suicide. I prefer to take the risk of burning as brightly as I can, whether the fire consumes me, or someone hands me a candle to illuminate my little corner of the world.
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 4:25 am
Wow. Nice commentary, Cara. This piece was precisely about not hiding one’s light, and I agree that for creative people, such a gesture is a kind of creative death. I love that you’re committed to burning brightly in your creativity. Certainly, it shines here. Thank you for sharing your valuable experience! Keep shining!
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Thank you for another great post Ami. Really enjoy you on SheWrites and getting to read your articles on your site.
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 4:27 am
Thanks, Christa! I really appreciate your enthusiastic support here and on SheWrites!
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Ami,
my thought process of late has been if I finish my chapbook & it gets published, I won’t have time to promote it. I’ll be sacrificing time with my family & my paying job. writing won’t still be enjoyable if I have to do it for a living. even as I’m typing this, I’m shaking my head … 1st things 1st, kid – finish the damn chapbook – lol!
anyway, this is a timely post for me, at least. great writing as usual & definitely helpful.
thank you!
s.
sMichelle´s last [type] ..a dance backward
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 4:33 am
sMichelle, I think you highlight some common fears for artists–the belief that promotion of one’s work will be terrible and that working full-time on one’s art will somehow be bad. What’s interesting is that family obligations take a considerable amount of time and energy and that as artists we often use those obligations as a way to push off our own creative careers. I know I’ve done that in the past. Anyway, you go with your chapbook! You’re such a talented poet. I can’t wait to read your creative offering. Thanks for your support!
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Hi Ami, thank you for giving voice to something many of us struggle with and are embarrassed to admit to… There are probably as many reasons for being afraid of success as there are people, the most basic being lack of self esteem. One of the greatest things that She Writes does is validates women, that we are capable of so much more than WE thought. Your piece is beautifully written and I am sure many will return to it over and over. I will!
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 11th, 2010 at 4:43 am
Thank you, Elizabeth! What’s interesting about being embarrassed to admit our fears of creative success is that it keeps us spiraling in embarrassment and perhaps even shame–embarrassed that we’re afraid, embarrassed of our success. embarrassed that we’re embarrassed. It’s exhausting! And yes, low self-esteem plays a serious role in propping up our fears and in keeping us from achieving creatively. I know that my own struggles with self-esteem have kept me from pursuing some significant creative opportunities in the past. And I’m trying really hard not to let that happen now in my present life.
Finally, I love SheWrites too! I find it to be a great place to post drafts of my poems and to get feedback.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
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Ami, you really struck a chord with this post. I already know that I’m afraid of success, though I’m not quite clear on why. I think it’s because success means putting all I have out there. What if it’s not enough? I have more control over my failure to act than I do over how much I succeed, it seems. Maybe I just don’t want to relinquish that power and put it in the hands of others.
Thanks for a great post. I enjoyed it and the conversation it has prompted.
Alison Kerr´s last [type] ..Five reasons to visit your local garden center in November
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 13th, 2010 at 10:28 am
Thank, Alison! You’ve raised a really interesting and insightful point about personal power and fear. Your comment makes me recognize better how in the past, I’ve let opportunities, such as publishing my poetry, pass me by because it gave me a sense of power and control. If I didn’t publish my poetry, then I didn’t open myself to the things I can’t control–other people’s opinion of me, negative criticism of my work, etc.
What’s ironic is that I’ve had plenty of creative success, and I’ve published quite a bit. So, one significant point that I left out of this piece is how we can overcome fear by focusing on and internalizing past success as well.
In my present creative life, I’m trying to actively seek out success, rather than hiding in what I can only call “artistic obscurity.” I’ve found that creative success takes courage, yes, but more significantly, I’m finding that it takes faith in myself and in my creative abilities and talents, and ultimately, faith that others will appreciate those talents.
So, all this to say, that I’m trying to focus on the power that I do have–submitting my poetry for publication, for instance–and cross my fingers and have a little faith.
Thanks for sharing your experience and insight..it’s got me thinking!
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Hi Ami, I just came to your website via the A List bloggers club and I’m delighted to have landed here. I am also convinced that it is fear of success as well as fear of failure that stops me pushing myself out further. In fact I have the full Marianne Williamson quote up on my kitchen wall too…I think Nelson Mandela used it in his inauguaration speech. “Your playing small doesn’t serve the World.There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won’t feel insecure around you.” Your post is so inspirational and your voice is so strong. I’m bookmarking this under Inspirational immediately! BTW I agree that Alison’s point that maybe it’s because we can control our feelings around not putting it out there better than we might be able to manage success or failure! Thank you
Rosemary´s last [type] ..5 Steps to Recovery From an O-D of Shiny Happy Peeps
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 15th, 2010 at 3:14 am
Hey, Rosemary! Thanks for dropping by! I too love the full quote from Marianne Williamson. “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world” is so true and insightful. For me, it highlights how being powerful and seeking success in our lives can serve a greater purpose and possibly even change our world.
It makes me very happy that you’ve found some inspiration in this post. I’ve read your latest blog entry and really enjoyed it. I hope you won’t let your fears of success/failure hold back your talents and enthusiastic spirit!
Thanks for sharing!
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I just wanted to say thank you, Ami, for your wonderful website. I found your 11 Tips for Spoken Word Beginners and it caused a real sea-change in how I was thinking about my first performance and how I prepared for it. It seems to have gone well!
I’ve recommended this website on my blog, it’s a wonderful resource for poets and performers. Thank you again.
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 15th, 2010 at 3:28 am
Thank you, Hilaire! It’s very sweet of you to offer me support and encouragement for poetryNprogress. And I’m especially pleased that you found the “11 Tips” article to be useful for your first performance.
I read your story about your performance experience. It was just lovely! And I was fascinated by your accounts of performance and poetry in Welsh history. Hopefully, my other readers will check it out.
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing the blog with others! I appreciate your support!
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Hi Ami,
The title drew me in..
Your article is extremely insightful, and the comments that follow are amazing.
I am in the midst of a life transformation that is incredible. However, I’ve found as I embrace the amazing opportunities, there is a natural release involved. That release is what ‘scares’ me. I tend to be quite bold by nature so to feel fear is a bit exciting as it means I am being challenged by new and different..and challenge may be good. What I feel right now though is that even as I am skipping joyfully down this new path there are new unfamiliar shadows along the side. You’ve given me some good thoughts to ponder..thank you!
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 15th, 2010 at 9:25 am
Thank you, Joy! I’ve learned through my performance experience in particular that a little bit of fear is a really good sign because it means that I’m taking an important risk and doing something valuable. And I think challenge can be a great thing if we are open to the new experiences and ideas that come with it.
Your life transformation sounds exciting! Wishing you courage and faith as you transform and create anew your life.
Thanks for sharing your experience!
PS–I read some of your blog posts, and indeed, you are appropriately named–your joyfulness is infectious!
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Ami, a truly beautiful post. This is my favourite quotation and has been instrumental in a dramatic shift inside me. Thank you for highlighting it.
A great fear that we all face is the fear that we are not worthy. Not worthy of anything, including success. You can internalise the success but if you don’t feel you are worth it, you have a problem. When you can be happy with anything you do, whether success or failure, then you can really rock.
Graham Phoenix´s last [type] ..Uncertainty is the Key
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 17th, 2010 at 11:31 am
Very well-stated, Graham! Knowing one’s value and worthiness, regardless of success or failure, is indeed an excellent trait. It’s a lot easier said than done! But well worth the effort! Thank you for sharing and thank you for your kind words!
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A great article with so many lessons to learn , i can read it over and over and still find something new each time to be learned. thank you .
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Ami Mattison Reply:
November 22nd, 2010 at 6:13 am
What a nice compliment, amany! Thank you! It makes me happy that you found the article useful. Good luck in your creative pursuits
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