‘Strong at the broken places’: Transforming Depression into Writing
The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. ~ Ernest Hemingway
I know depression. A primary symptom of my Bipolar II Disorder, depression has at times severely limited my interest in and pursuit of creative projects. However, because I’ve dealt with depression throughout my creative career, I’ve learned concrete ways to cope with its effects by transforming what can be a liability into a creative impulse to write.
What is Depression?
Generally speaking, there are two different types of depression. There’s “the blues,” or situational depression which consists of temporary feelings of sadness triggered by unhappy events or stressful situations.
And then there’s clinical depression, which is a mental disorder that requires medical intervention and psychiatric treatment. Clinical depression is characterized by extreme feelings of sadness, a sense of hopelessness, a lack of interest, and decreased energy, which affect one’s abilities to carry out usual tasks and activities of daily living.
A Different Definition
But whether it’s situational or clinical in nature, depression is a kind of disempowerment that results in a loss of a positive sense of self.
We might define depression, then, as a loss of the profound connection with one’s own personal power to affect change in one’s life.
Not being able to access a positive sense of self and to affect change in one’s life would make anyone extremely sad. And it seems only natural that this extreme sadness and pain would result in feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
And significantly, these feelings in turn provoke a loss of faith in one’s self and in the living forces that surround and sustain us.
So, how can creativity and writing, in particular, transform this disconnection from personal power and from a positive sense of self? How can it restore our faith?
Why Writing?
There are several reasons why I recommend writing as a great way to transform depression into creativity.
First, writing materials are cheap. All you really need is a pencil or pen and some paper. But if you want a free word processor, check out Google Docs or Writer which comes with Open Office Suite.
Also, writing can be done anywhere and at anytime. There’s no huge preparation required for writing. You can start anytime, write for as long as you want, and stop at any moment in the process.
Writing is easy, and when you’re depressed, you need something relatively easy to do. So, if you don’t already write, then consider trying your hand at it.
Coping Through Creative Writing
First, if you’re dealing with clinical depression, it’s really important that you seek professional help. I did, and I can tell you from experience that these suggestions will provide little benefit if you’re not treating your clinical depression.
Also, in order to feel better, we must take care of our basic physical needs. Certainly, taking care of ourselves is particularly difficult when we’re depressed, but give it a try and see if you feel better.
If you’re taking care of your basic physical needs and if you’re experiencing situational depression or are being treated for clinical depression, then these ideas, which I use to deal with depression, might help you as well:
- Create a journal. A journal is a fantastic and safe way to explore one’s innermost thoughts and feelings about the sadness, hopelessness and other extreme emotions that coincide with depression. I write in my journal every day. It’s my primary way of coping with depression and anxiety, but it’s also fun for me. If you don’t already keep a journal, then try starting one. You might be surprised at how useful it can become.
- Write your story. Everyone has a story. You may not know what your story is yet. But give it some thought. What experiences have made you who you are today? What experiences have most profoundly affected you?
- Write a poem. You don’t have to call yourself a poet to write poetry. I teach 2nd and 3rd graders how to write poetry, and basically it’s all about tapping into your imagination. If you’re worried about writing bad poetry, then you can check out this article on how to buff up your skills.
- Write about your dreams. You can write about your literal dreams at night, which I’ve found useful when I’m under duress. But also, consider your dreams for your future. If there were no limits on what you could do with your life, what would be your goals and pursuits? Or try daydreaming about your perfect day. What would an absolutely perfect day look like for you?
- Write about what makes you happy. Focusing on what makes us happy really does help to make us feel less depressed. Sure, you’ve heard all about positive thinking. And when you’re depressed it’s really hard to think positively. Its uses seem so limited. But remember there’s no quick fix to feeling better. It all comes in small steps. So, try writing about happiness.
If none of these exercises appeal to you, then be creative and experiment with your own writing projects. For instance, write a short story, write a non-fiction essay, or start a blog.
Writing for Empowerment
The point of all these exercises is to empower you to speak your own truths and experiences, whatever they may be.
Once we begin to write about and also share our experiences with others, then we empower ourselves to stand in those experiences and truths, to be who we are, without apology.
Also, ignorance about depression and prejudice against those who suffer from it abound in culture, and you’ve probably come across those who simply “don’t get it.” Writing your experiences and truths gives you a way to validate yourself and your life, regardless of those who might disregard your pain.
Keeping the Faith
Empowering ourselves through writing and creativity can become one way of finding hope when there seems to be none. It can help ease the pain when there seems no escape from it. And it can restore our faith in ourselves and in the creative universe. Perhaps, most importantly, it can help us to connect to our ability to affect change in our own lives.
So, write about your depression, your pain, your experiences and your personal truths and see if it helps you to cope and to transform your pain and depression into an empowered sense of self.
Do you experience depression? How does writing help you to cope?
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Flickr photo courtesy of Eddie van W.
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I have suffered badly from depression since my mid-twenties but I’ve never written much about it. Basically it’s depressing. That doesn’t mean I don’t write when I’m depressed but I don’t tend to dwell on the depression itself. During my second major depression in my early thirties I wrote the first drafts of two novels and they’re actually quite funny books. I have never quite understood why but I find my sense of humour actually improves when I’m depressed. I can see the funny side of what’s happening even if I can’t do a damn thing about it. Think Les Dawson and you’re about there. And if you don’t know who he is he’s a deadpan Lancashire comedian always bemoaning his lot in life.
About four years ago I had my fourth serious breakdown which proved to be much worse than the previous three and included bouts of anxiety, confusion and an inability to concentrate. It was at this time I started my blog to have something to focus on that felt like work but that I could do in whatever clear spells I had. Frankly it kept me sane. This was non-fiction writing, something I had done very little of in the past, and I found it far easier than fiction. I picked a topic, researched it, made notes and constructed articles. Far easier than staring at a blank sheet of paper and wondering what I want to say or even what’s worth saying anything about.
Jim Murdoch´s last [type] ..What is a book
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Ami Mattison Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 7:10 am
Jim, thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s true that writing about one’s depression is…well, depressing. And it sounds like you’ve found ways to sublimate your depression into creative projects. My blog has also been a way to keep me “sane.” It gives me work to do without having to dig into all the pain.
I so appreciate that you always so honestly share your insights, wisdom, and experiences here with us. I know that they help me, and I’m sure they help other readers as well.
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Once again, Ami, the power and wisdom of your writing blows me away. I remember once indexing a book on scriptotherapy, which is exactly what you describe here. Thank you for sharing so generously of yourself.
Lisa Rivero´s last [type] ..Good Morning Pages!
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Ami Mattison Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 7:13 am
Thank you, Lisa! For some reason, I’ve never heard the term “scriptotherapy,” but I certainly believe in the therapeutic uses of writing and other creative pursuits. Now I have a new word to use! Thanks!
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What an excellent piece. I’m going to suggest that all my writing clients read it. Thanks for taking the time to articulate the transformative process of writing through depression, so well.
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Ami Mattison Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 7:15 am
Sarah, I hope your clients find the piece useful. Thank you for your kind words!
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I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety as well and I have always, even when I didn’t know my depression for what it was, written about it. When it started, the writing was “woe-is-me” sort of writing, but it’s molded into a discovery process…I don’t find myself in those places of depression often anymore, but the anxiety returns sometimes and writing is a way for me to analyze what I’m feeling and what’s making me feel that way. It’s a way to break things down and recognize things in my brain that I didn’t know were there before.
Fantastic post. Thank you!
Michelle´s last [type] ..miniature road trip
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Ami Mattison Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 7:21 am
Michelle, the way you use writing to deal with anxiety and depression seems exactly the way I use it as well. I use my journal primarily as a way to process and analyze my feelings and to work on building healthy coping skills.
Also, I’m glad you mentioned the distinction between the “woe-is-me” writing and writing that begins to lift us from the depression itself. This was a distinction I wanted to make, but didn’t have the room to discuss.
I think the “woe-is-me” writing is a necessary first step for some people. But hopefully it leads to exactly what you suggest–”a discovery process.”
Thanks for sharing your insights!
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Hi Ami, an excellent piece, all of which I heartily concur with! I also suffer from bipolar disorder, and like Jim, come from Lancashire! There is an obvious connection between the arts and mental illness, (or is it mental illness and the arts?) but I believe as you do, that they can be part of our healing. I often suggest to others that they keep a journal. Another idea is to write one’s deepest heartaches down and put them in a jar, then at the right time, bury them in a forest. This gives a sense of closure and of life coming from death as our dashed hopes and the paper become part of the life cycle again.
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Ami Mattison Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 7:50 am
What a wonderful idea for a ritual, Elizabeth! Remembering the cycle of life and letting our dreams and hopes become reborn are crucial to moving forward in depression. Thanks!
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wow…how do you know me so well…lol. I write for the exact same reasons and feel the same affects as you do, ami. Reading through your suggestions on what to write from journalling to poetry and so forth was a bit eerie because I progressed my writing in exactly the same order through this last clinical “episode” (which unfortunately,started over 2 years ago and is not stabilized yet) …writing empowers me and gives me hope when nothing else does. such a blessing to know that I am not unique…makes me feel even more hopeful
thx again.
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Ami Mattison Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 7:53 am
I like this: “writing empowers me and gives me hope when nothing else does.” So, so true. I feel the exact same way. I write to cope, to empower myself and to exercise faith in my own being and in the creative universe. It’s nice to have company on this sometimes lonely road. Thanks for sharing your experience!
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“loss of personal power to affect change in your own lives.” I like your definition of depression. It is much more complex than a medical diagnosis, isn’t it?
I, too, have been thinking of the power of writing as a tool to finding one’s power. Great ideas.
Describing what makes the depression lessen and increase can be eye opening too, especially when taking a look at one’s relationships.
Marci´s last [type] ..When Staying is the Best Liberating Decision
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Ami Mattison Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 7:57 am
Yes, Marci, I think it’s interesting to keep tabs on what circumstances and thoughts lessen or increase my depression. I very often process “triggers” in my journal writing–whether that’s a trigger for depression or for a lighter, happier mood.
I’m interested to know what ideas you come up with for utilizing writing as a tool for personal empowerment. Let me know.
And thanks for sharing!
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